Probably some of the most fun work, the most gratifying work I’ve done through the years is norming teams. Forming and Storming are a blast, but Norming is where I feel you get to add that special spark. To get teams to connect and there-by function at an entirely different level.

I’ve seen teams go from the steady stream of getting work down, to hitting a turbo boost and launching themselves into outer space when they get to this phase and, usually, with a little help, are able to catalyze into something greater than their individual parts.

To do that, team building truly comes into play. Breaking down barriers, connecting and sharing in a forum or bubble of fun is where you can see that magic come alive. And, in the odd cases that it doesn’t, the team still usually have fun.

The last major team building event I ran I leveraged my love of the show Task Master. Some of the team members were aware of my affection, but afterwards several streamed the show. The event itself, of course, revolved around duckies.

I’d been “collecting” duckies over the past year from my favorite pub – the add them to their specialty drinks – and the first “Task” was to choose a duckie from the pile, take a selfie and then hide their duck (with some restrictions – ie not in a bathroom) somewhere on the floor.

I set up a couple other stations for the remaining afternoon for the members to “accomplish” their tasks at their leisure. These included guessing how many of what item was in a box simply by sticking their hands inside (it was a collection of non-sharp objects from home, and they were given 1 minute to put down their guesses on paper.) I also had them guess what items were in three overturned cups without picking them up – one of the team members did realize the trick here and got all three items correct.

At “game time” everyone had to show us the selfie they took with their duck and share with them their most treasured family recipe (this was close to a family holiday and figured it was a good way to get to know people on a deeper level). Points were awarded for creativity and strangeness of location – while they had to hide the duck on the floor, prior to that, they could take their selfie anywhere.

We then used the “Put as many visible dots on a piece of paper as you can in 60 seconds” – once that was done, they tried to count, but the main point was for “task part II” – using your dots, draw an animal using those dots like “connect the dots”. Points again for the most artistic.

Then we did a the “Stand up at 30 seconds” – without using a watch or phone. Based on the closest to the time, I split them up into three smaller teams for the next few tasks.

First Team Task – Find all your rubber duckies using only the words hot and cold. Teams got points based on how fast they could find their duckies.

When they returned, I had them line up front to back with their team members. The rear most team members would be shown an image and, using only their fingers, they needed to trace that image on the team member in front of them, who would try to trace the same image on the person in front of them, until you reached the front person, who would try to draw that image on a piece of paper.

It was one of the funnier tasks. And the images? Well, they were more surrealist than Picasso.

We wrapped the games up with a “Duck Drop”, trying to get their duck into a cup from one story up (using a stairwell). Again, points for closest.

In the end, the entire event took over an hour, and the team was laughing and tired from running around playing ridiculous childlike games. Which was the beauty of it. Our jobs were stressful, and they were high-performing – the team plays to win in most things. But the kid games reminded us that playing to win can also be fun.

Especially when you’re working together with supportive members.

Team Games:

Entry 3/11/2023

“So that happened.”

Twelve Hours before I was to leave for my first trip abroad in two decades, four days after my birthday and six days since the passing of my grandmother the surprising news that they were going to eliminate my, and all my cohorts, role from the company.

We no longer need Agile Delivery Leads. A term, in hindsight, evolve in an attempt to probably save the role of scrum masters in the past; though in fairness that term has awful connotations now, so it is time for rebranding.

I’m not against the action. I still love Capital One, and I think trying something new is good. That is the “Agile Way”. Experiment.

Sure, the argument could be made that “Individuals and interactions over processes and tools” was perhaps violated and so, is this truly Agile, but there also the counter argument that we, as Agilist, were being pushed to do more “Processes”, “Metrics” and tools as opposed to getting our teams to move towards responding to change more effectively.

Needless to say, it took me by surprise. But this was an opportunity as much, if not more, than a problem. I mean, the employment market is hot at the moment! Right?

Flying off to Japan, while nerve wracking and unavoidable, was still probably the right thing to do. Standing in the shadow of Mt Fuji, eating food I couldn’t imagine eating a few years ago, was another shock to the system. Which, after the past year, I took with gracious measure.

Landing, coming back, was rough, as I wanted to support my team as best I could even though, technically, I was supposed to be hands off. The timing of the announcement was a best/worst case scenario. I had already prepped my team to run without me for a couple weeks – so they were a little ahead of the game – but I didn’t have those two weeks to hand off the other items or solidify processes for them. Readying them for my departure. When I was back, I spent a couple jet-lagged days checking in, trying to tune the processes, brain dump my ideas, and my plans, as best I could.

Then I had to turn to my personal situation. Look to myself.

“I was lucky though”, I thought. “I’ve been through this before.”

The last time, I squandered the opportunity. Sure, I was in an entirely different situation. I had a family, a child to worry about. A partner who could help support me in the interim. This time, well, the divorce isn’t final yet, but we’ll probably circle back to that at some point.

“I have some idea of what to expect. I have some lessons learned from last time that, hopefully, will allow me to capitalize on the experience. A second chance to do things differently.”

But how? What?

Listening to the Ezra Klein Podcast on Pain which got into some discussion on the neural pathways in which we ingrain in our minds. I realized I need to start carving out some new ones. The how was almost secondary to the what.

So, that’s where I’m starting.

I apologize in advance. I intend to write and post about this journey as I go. That will mean some disjointed, almost anti-narrative aspects to this endeavor. You won’t always know what informs some of my decisions, though I will do my best to illuminate any past experience, or issues that are coloring my way forward.

Being where I am in life, this isn’t a new start. It’s not starting over. It’s not a new beginning. I have a lot of history (personal, professional, and creative) that hopefully will be useful and play a part in my futures. And our past is what makes up a large part of who we are.

But it is the start of this endeavor. This “project”. Maybe it’ll be useful. Maybe it will be useless. Hopefully it’ll be entertaining at least. Or maybe even encourage someone else to do it better – as that seems too often be the case with my projects. In which case. It’s worth throwing the stone in the river and seeing where the ripples me.

Entry 2/11/2023

Feeling disconnected, trying to reconnect to the source.

In the fantasy series The Wheel of Time, by Robert Jordan – with Brandon Sanderson finishing the last three books after his passing – there is the idea of stilling or gentling. It’s where the person is cut off from the source of magical powers. They can still feel it, at the edges of their minds, but they cannot embrace it.

It can happen naturally, or accidentally, in which case it’s usually calling “burning out”.

That’s what it feels like today.

I’ve been using former passion projects to try and light a spark. To bring back that love and interest in things. “Life is meaningless, you have to give it meaning” was something I took to heart in a session on how to talk to people in a depressive state. It’s true in so many ways.

Sometimes we have a natural inclination to that meaning. Our families, love, raising children, our careers. Sometimes, often in times of crisis – either as the causation of, or in reaction to – that meaning falters. I wouldn’t say fail. I don’t think you can have “meaning failure”, as opposed to “meaningful failure” which I hopefully will circle back to in a future post, but the “meaning” may falter or move past meaning for you. A certain career or project may still be valuable, meaningful, but maybe no longer for the person. Me.

I played some old music today. Trying to make updates, find lyrics to go to a melody I had written. I still like the melody. It still affected me, but my energy to work on it dropped after a few minutes. I just couldn’t find words that meant something. It felt like I was pushing for answers, instead of letting the universe speak to me.

It shouldn’t have been a surprise when the universe was silent. Inside, I am anything but still. Parts of me are running around. Many trying to avoid confronting the reality in front of me. Others are frantically trying to bail out the flooding lifeboats as they twirl directionless around me. The projects, the passions of my past trying to remain afloat, searching for landfall, success, in the turbulent waters.

The hurricane of my internal life only sensed as I become stilled in the waking world. I have been neglecting my mindfulness practice. It’s gotten lost in the troughs of the turbulent sea. Now that I notice it, it seems so simple. The stillness without, needs to be brought inward so stillness within can began to paddle, instead of bail, those boats.

I have a call with a couple recruiters this afternoon – reaching out for help (though blindly so…wish me luck) – and will need to jump on this realization. A mindfulness program needs to be brought to the forefront. Prioritized.

It seems so simple – like how could I forget this – but am happy that I was gentled today, for it means I can search for a way to heal.

And maybe, just maybe, begin to rebuild that meaning for myself.

Entry 2/21/2023

“Can you come and get me?”

My roommate texted me. “I just got let go.”

It’s Hump Day. Middle of the week. Trying to get through and motivate myself for the push through the end of the week. Trying not to let disappointment and, at least for the moment, useless failure derail me from continue to push forward.

The job hunt continues. Several calls and emails, updates to the resume, numerous cover letters – sowing the seeds for (hopefully) future cultivation and reaping – warring with putting energy into areas I feel I’m being more successful at (learning, side-projects/hustles, etc).

“I’m on my way.” I texted back, packing up my laptop and dashing to the PATH Station. “Do you need my car? Or just help carrying stuff?” Suddenly worried he wanted me to foray into midtown in the middle of rush hour – there are limits to my supportiveness I am beginning to realize. I’m more than happy to jaunt and be present, to help navigate, but asking me to drive through New Jersey rush hour is still a bridge to far.

“Oh, probably can carry it in a couple bags.” He replied as the train’s doors closed on me.

Phew, I thought.

His stuff was minimal. Having just experienced a similar situation, I tried to remain present, focused on listening, and NOT giving any advice. Nor judgement – which was far easier.

“Rest. Focus on yourself. You’re in shock.” I replied to almost everything he said.

Upset, frustrated, self-doubt all warred across his physical body, and I just hugged him. Repeating, “Everything is going to be okay. This sucks, but it’s going to be okay.”

He fell into bed shortly after getting home. Sleeping poorly but sleeping.

And I’m trying to motivate myself to push on through. Thoughts of my friend, my friends now, dealing with the same struggles I am. To find a new job, some sense of (false) security in trying times. I see the news, and the unemployment numbers. Inflation and tech woes. The world itself struggling with what is even true – which we will have to come to some kind of solution too. Searching for a solution. A magic pill, solution to these woes.

Food scarcity – To Good To Go is marvelous – playing across my mind. Wondering about local networks or people. Chef, client, local farmers – playing in an app where you can order food, created by a chef, sourced by the local farmers. You can see their decision making in real-time. If the farmer’s out of potatoes, the chef creates a recipe around the over-abundance of corn. As a client, you still get a meal even if it wasn’t exactly what you thought you were getting. A sort of Jazzy food improve that everyone can enjoy.

Could I leverage a designer, engineer and project manager to create something new?

Promotional material, after the success of actually creating and audiobook of one of my works, could these resources assist with that? Earn some money on the side to help with their own travails?

I wander down these mental side-roads even as part of my mind resists, pushes back. “It’s hump day! You need to get x application in! You need to reach out to three people to see if you can develop a stronger connection to Wells Fargo for those positions you want to look at.”

Wondering which will serve me better. I am stuck at the top of the hump. In some sense resource and time rich. But looking at the landscape out around me, I have to wonder what path is the most likely to see as many of us through as possible.

I’m stuck at the hump at the top of the world.

And the bottom of the universe.

Entry 3/1/2023

Meetings have become the bane of my existence.

The interminable incessant soul-crushing minutes you spend listening to someone drone on, staring across a table into vacant eyes as the present “Uh”, “oh”, “um” there way through an afternoon is one of those torturous exercises that draw to your mind the phrase “what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger”.

I’d like to stamp that on a stress ball and throw it at the presenter right now.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand public speaking isn’t for everyone and, you should know, apologizing for your presentation is one of my pet peeves - probably because I often catch myself doing it.

I can forgive a mistake, I can overlook verbal stumbling, but only to a point. If you’re not learning from it, if it’s the same mistake over…and over…and over… then we’ve got a problem.

So, here are some tips that I try to adhere to:

Making small-talk before our S1 kicked off, a teammate related the story of an old boss of his that would “purposely ignore any first request to him for something.” The Boss would only respond to a second request if he felt “you really wanted what you were asking for.” Only those who really wanted something, needed it, would put the effort into making a request a second time.

I called that “Prioritization by Ignoring.” My teammate coined the better term, “ignoritization”.

The boss isn’t alone. In a 2014 article Ed Batista spoke with a number of coaches discussing the idea of actively ignoring items whose importance falls below a red-line. It’s done all the time in the medical community and we’ve even taken their term, Triage, on my team to dealing with incidents and outages. A “temporary” ignoring of previously prioritized work.

Key component of successful ignoritization does rely on good prioritization. You can’t ignore the leak in the boat if you’re trying to sale across the Atlantic - but if you’re just sailing across your bath-tub then it’s not so critical. When running a Kanban team, there is an almost practical need to implement some kind of temporary ignoritization if you find yourself dealing with a mix of break/fix and project delivery work

But what about those items of work that simply never reach priority. Can they, or should they, age out of your system. For one team I implemented a “Cold-Storage” method for some of those items. It was part prioritization, part self-protection against Product Owners who I knew would come back in nine-months asking why something hadn’t been completed. Having the stories in Cold-Storage allowed me to break down the reasons for the lack of priority - namely the lack of assistance or prioritization from them as Product Owners.

Granted, in a perfect world, this would all amount to a transparent continual prioritization of work by Product Owners who remain, stay engaged, don’t leave, and truly take on ownership of their requests. In the absence though, to protect the team, I will admit to introducing some ignoritization to our boards.

There are dangers, obvious and hidden, to its use though.

One, you are taking semi-ownership and power away from the Product Owner. I do suggest mitigating and collaborating with the PO - perhaps just keep bringing up that story/request they submitted over and over and over and over until they say “Yeah, I agree lets table this”.

Two, those stories can come back to haunt you.

Some stories that often fell into my cold-storage were fixes for something uncovered in a DR Test. Fixing something for the next DR Test was simply never a priority for the business and the next test, we’d again encounter the same issue. If the test was only being done once a year - having the story to hand over to my DR auditor allowed me to wipe my hands of the situation. “If you want this fixed you need to get my Product Owner to prioritize it.” It didn’t always go over well with my PO, but at least they weren’t able to play the “I didn’t know about this” game and damage the reputation of my team.

Ignoritization can be a useful tool for teams. It allows them to triage and focus on the critical as opposed to the “simply desired” efforts that are coming at them. Having a way to track and deal with those desires is what prioritization is all about. But, if your Leadership isn’t able to provide the backing and is unable to hold themselves accountable for the decisions of that prioritization, “ignoritizing a story” can be a helpful tool to ensure your team isn’t steam-rolled under by a mountain of requests.

Entry 9/5/2017

I have the best team in the world. Sure, other Scrummasters will probably defy me, challenge me to duels, and take me to the mat on that, but I do.

But, as awesome as they are, they are as different from one another as apples are to pigeons in New York. Some have the same natural instincts and ability to target you with sh$t at just the right moment.

Those differences are a strength, allowing us to cover a wider range of issues, projects, and challenges. But they also present a unique opportunity when it comes to team building. Exercises, such as ‘two truths and a lie’, and other ‘round the table’ static efforts tend to wander off into naps, nods, and daydreams.

More ‘Interactive’, goal-oriented and odd-ball tasks have proven more effective. Though, you will need to keep an eye on who is possibly ‘sitting in the corner’ and use your people-skills to draw them out and get them engaged. I have found them to often be the most entertaining and energetic members once you do, and the entire team seems to feed of those engagements as well.

Entry 8/25/2017